So, with all the introspection comes the grand schemes and dreams of my “second life”. There are so many things on the bucket list that I make myself dizzy sometimes (Pinterest doesn’t help)! Needless to say, I need to pare down the list. Sometimes talking it out is my best method of elimination, and often my spouse gets to be the lucky recipient of all my confusion. He’s pretty patient; pretends he’s listening; nods in all the right places; and throws in a challenge question from time to time. But, he is consistent in ending the conversation with words that always put things in perspective for me. Granted, I’m frequently unappreciative of his style, but in the end, his now-familiar comments are usually a catalyst for me to move forward…”You’ve got the talking part done.” What wife doesn’t long to hear these sweet words of encouragement?
Nevertheless, this one sentence highlights my propensity to get overwhelmed by choices and dares me to do something…anything that will move me off of dead center. In the past, I’ve made excuses about being too busy, but that doesn’t even hold water with me anymore. And, let’s face it, there’s a lot of fear built into the equation as well. It’s been a while since I put myself out into the world to be judged by the opinions of others, a fate I prefer to avoid. But, there’s no doubt that it’s time for change, and I’m overdue for a bit of toughening up! Old dreams are resurfacing, and I’m wanting to follow their call. It’s exciting on one hand, but mostly I’m scared out of my mind. Still, the echo of his words niggle at my brain, and I can feel a shift taking place. Sometimes I even hear his other words of wisdom surface…”I’m 50 now, and I don’t care.” I’m thinking I shouldn’t either!
My spouse pushes me to be more and to be better than I am, and he always gives me permission to fly. It’s a blessing I’ve never really appreciated or understood, but as I I feel the courage to rise toward action, I am grateful for the unconditional love and support he gives. I’m glad to know he will be there cheering me on (and reminding me when I’m stuck) as I discover myself in this new chapter of our life where the “doing part gets done.”